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When one door closes…

A month ago I experienced a big rejection. I tried out for a dream job, a big production I had wished for for the past two years. I auditioned… and didn’t get in.

I don’t know what the “official” stages of grief are but these were mine:

  • Shock and disbelief
  • Distraction with dinosaur movies
  • Anger at myself – thinking of what I should have done
  • Crying to the point of boredom
  • Donut binge eating
  • Seeking out validation from loved ones
  • Mindful acceptance
  • Empowered B-I-T-C-H

You know that moment when you’ve cried to the point where it loses its meaning and you even feel silly? If you don’t, I fully recommend it. Crushing sadness should be let out as soon as possible. If your smart enough to recognize it and use it, this down moment eventually brings about a huge sense of bravery and motivation. When you’re sitting at the bottom, usually what follows is thinking “fuck it, the only way to go now is up”.

I now know what professional rejection feels like. This one hurt. A lot. And yet I let it out and bounced back pretty quickly, surprisingly for me. There is great value in that. It means if this one didn’t kill me, probably nothing will. For a moment I felt bulletproof.

And if one door closes, I’ll be damned if I don’t open another one… or ten… and guess what?

One month after the big “no”, I was packing my bags to leave the country. A stop motion studio nearing the end of production loved my work and here I am, in Orem, Utah! Not only did this job come at a perfect time when I was doubting myself and had already been unemployed for several months, but it will be:

  • my first feature film… at least the first that will very likely be finished and released soon
  • my first experience outside of Mexico – I am entering the international market

I saw they were recruiting but I had my doubts – self doubts. It took me a little while to write to them. I was afraid, maybe of changes, maybe of leaving my comfort zone and the city and people I’ve become used to. I’ve always wanted to go big with my career but it’s scary.

The important thing is I did it, I went with it and here I am. I’m having fun, I’m meeting new and very talented people, some who have been in the industry for a long time, and I’m inspired.

A lot of artists go through rejection. I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake. A few learn to pick themselves up and make something greater, I hope to always be in that category.

(Shout-out to my amazing friends and family for the love and support I receive always – for the cheers when I’m up, for the comfort food when I’m down. I love you all).

4 thoughts on “When one door closes…

  1. I am so proud of you, in more ways than I can explain and that you might comprehend. Yet, I will make an effort to ellaborate.
    I am proud and delighted that you know yourself well enough to have a healthy relationship with your heart and your mind. The heart that you allow to have a voice and encourage to be brave, to have dreams, and to follow its bliss. And, as the perfect complement, a mind that has a purpose and is disciplined enough study, to invest in yourself, to work ward, to persevere, to play full-out, and to learn to dance with uncertainty.
    I am proud of the fact that you have paved your own way, created your own opportunities, cultivated alliances and friendships in alignment with your goals, and sought your own education. You have been your own sculptor.
    I am proud of your courage to expose your wounds, not to seek pity or manipulate others, but as an act of compassion and empowerment for yourself and others.
    I am proud that you have learned to distill lessons from the experiences that happen “for you”, not “to you”. With this mindset in place, you will continue to transform trash into compost, difficulties into opportunities.
    I am proud that you have found, like your ancestors, your own way of expressing creativity and a healthy obsession with quality and craftmanship (or better, craftwomanship-No, spellchecker, thanks for the suggestion, but I am not correcting this word!).
    So, continue to grow, to be fully alive, to love, to adventure, to discover and manifest everything that comes from within you and through you.
    Above all, I am very proud to be your dad.

    Te amo.

  2. Mayreni I am very inspired reading of your story. You went through your moment of rejection. But the Key that you used was not giving up. Blessings to you on your new adventure. Always remember to give Thanks. Because your chi watches over you. Love❤🙏🏾😊

  3. Mayreni- As always your perseverance and focus on your goals have materialize. What a wonderful opportunity to explore the animation world with others who have similar interests. I just sense and know that you have greater opportunities to look forward to as you continue to build your network. Buena suerte en todo. Love ❤️ ya … your adopted Tia in California

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