When one door closes…
A month ago I experienced a big rejection. I tried out for a dream job, a big production I had wished for for the past two years. I auditioned… and didn’t get in.
I don’t know what the “official” stages of grief are but these were mine:
- Shock and disbelief
- Distraction with dinosaur movies
- Anger at myself – thinking of what I should have done
- Crying to the point of boredom
- Donut binge eating
- Seeking out validation from loved ones
- Mindful acceptance
- Empowered B-I-T-C-H
You know that moment when you’ve cried to the point where it loses its meaning and you even feel silly? If you don’t, I fully recommend it. Crushing sadness should be let out as soon as possible. If your smart enough to recognize it and use it, this down moment eventually brings about a huge sense of bravery and motivation. When you’re sitting at the bottom, usually what follows is thinking “fuck it, the only way to go now is up”.
I now know what professional rejection feels like. This one hurt. A lot. And yet I let it out and bounced back pretty quickly, surprisingly for me. There is great value in that. It means if this one didn’t kill me, probably nothing will. For a moment I felt bulletproof.
And if one door closes, I’ll be damned if I don’t open another one… or ten… and guess what?
One month after the big “no”, I was packing my bags to leave the country. A stop motion studio nearing the end of production loved my work and here I am, in Orem, Utah! Not only did this job come at a perfect time when I was doubting myself and had already been unemployed for several months, but it will be:
- my first feature film… at least the first that will very likely be finished and released soon
- my first experience outside of Mexico – I am entering the international market
I saw they were recruiting but I had my doubts – self doubts. It took me a little while to write to them. I was afraid, maybe of changes, maybe of leaving my comfort zone and the city and people I’ve become used to. I’ve always wanted to go big with my career but it’s scary.
The important thing is I did it, I went with it and here I am. I’m having fun, I’m meeting new and very talented people, some who have been in the industry for a long time, and I’m inspired.
A lot of artists go through rejection. I am not a beautiful and unique snowflake. A few learn to pick themselves up and make something greater, I hope to always be in that category.
(Shout-out to my amazing friends and family for the love and support I receive always – for the cheers when I’m up, for the comfort food when I’m down. I love you all).